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About Varied / Hobbyist Invidia29/Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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Statistics 437 Deviations 5,409 Comments 29,464 Pageviews

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Darien by Invidia1988 Darien :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 0 0 Eiha  Lines  Nyx colors by Invidia1988 Eiha Lines Nyx colors :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 2 2 Kamiaso Hades by Invidia1988 Kamiaso Hades :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 15 3 Guardian Of Time Lineart Colored by Invidia1988 by Invidia1988 Guardian Of Time Lineart Colored by Invidia1988 :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 7 0 Nanena   colored by Invidia1988 by Invidia1988 Nanena colored by Invidia1988 :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 4 2 Gawain-Invidia1988 color - lines from Dea-89. by Invidia1988 Gawain-Invidia1988 color - lines from Dea-89. :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 4 2 Something sinister Devilish Lineart  Dark by Celsa by Invidia1988 Something sinister Devilish Lineart Dark by Celsa :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 4 3 Skelly cat! by Invidia1988 Skelly cat! :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 3 2 A Festive Snooze By Homunculuslover - colored by Invidia1988 A Festive Snooze By Homunculuslover - colored :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 13 7 Spearmint by Invidia1988 Spearmint :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 2 0 In a Starry Sky by Invidia1988 In a Starry Sky :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 2 2 Year of the Dragon by Invidia1988 Year of the Dragon :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 13 5 Ichigo Vasto Lorde Vs Ulquiorra Cifer by Invidia1988 Ichigo Vasto Lorde Vs Ulquiorra Cifer :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 17 3 Assorted Chocolates  Caramel Creme   By Thecarrots by Invidia1988 Assorted Chocolates Caramel Creme By Thecarrots :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 17 1 Ulquiorra X Orihime. by Invidia1988 Ulquiorra X Orihime. :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 50 5
Mature content
Death is a Beginning page 4 :iconinvidia1988:Invidia1988 0 0


Background Testing by quinntheking Background Testing :iconquinntheking:quinntheking 8 0 Devil Part Time by xShooryx
Mature content
Devil Part Time :iconxshooryx:xShooryx 58 7
L - Lineart by RamzyKamen L - Lineart :iconramzykamen:RamzyKamen 40 9 (re-uploaded base ) F2U Female Base by CherrysDesigns (re-uploaded base ) F2U Female Base :iconcherrysdesigns:CherrysDesigns 139 44 (closed) Auction Adopt - Outfit 458 by CherrysDesigns (closed) Auction Adopt - Outfit 458 :iconcherrysdesigns:CherrysDesigns 120 22 (closed) Auction Adopt - Outfit 398 by CherrysDesigns (closed) Auction Adopt - Outfit 398 :iconcherrysdesigns:CherrysDesigns 155 35 Lines - Queen by SailorSamusAU Lines - Queen :iconsailorsamusau:SailorSamusAU 141 48 Sailor Cosmos Lineart by silver-eyes-blue Sailor Cosmos Lineart :iconsilver-eyes-blue:silver-eyes-blue 180 26 Lineart: Sailor Trio by Rurutia8 Lineart: Sailor Trio :iconrurutia8:Rurutia8 276 10 Venus [Lineart] by Myria-Art Venus [Lineart] :iconmyria-art:Myria-Art 33 11 Sailor Jupiter Lineart by Myria-Art Sailor Jupiter Lineart :iconmyria-art:Myria-Art 38 11 Princess Mars Linework by Carteraug21 Princess Mars Linework :iconcarteraug21:Carteraug21 49 4 LINE ART - Sailor Mars (Ver. 1992) by JackoWcastillo LINE ART - Sailor Mars (Ver. 1992) :iconjackowcastillo:JackoWcastillo 85 5 [Sailor Moon] Lineart Super Sailor Moon by NeoSM2503 [Sailor Moon] Lineart Super Sailor Moon :iconneosm2503:NeoSM2503 20 11 Lions by sandara Lions :iconsandara:sandara 4,283 164


Probably the FIRST image I ever made. Finding references left and right and trying to work through frustration and the fact I couldn't make the original work, work. This tends to happen when I want to prove I can do something. Low behold, a first commission~ 

I'll admit not the absolute best in terms of face and some areas are very spotty. But I was limited, and I work with a mouse so I was determined to make it work for the friend who bought this. 

It'd be alot better if I can delete dumb comments.
I'm going to start this off, with how appreciative of my close circle of friends I do have. I am glad that these friends do not crowd me, do not impose themselves on me and the biggest is not bring up my troubles unless I myself bring them up.

There is a very small and select few people I will talk to on deep levels. Like surrounding this year, my leaving my ex, just the in general core of my problems. I know that these people will not talk to others about it, unless it is within this circle of friends that know what went on and what I was dealing with.

There is a reason I trust these people so closely. 

Who I am not going to trust, are people who come out of no where talking about my past as if it happened to them. You may have walked a similar path as me, but you will never compare to that deep level I am on. It is impossible to say "I understand completely." Don't use these words with me. I will never open up to you afterwards. There is a very very slim number like single digit slim number of friends who can come close to saying they understand but they don't. 

I am an entirely different person. I am not you. I am not someone you can just "easily and completely understand." It's pure bullshit if you say that to me. Specially if we do not talk, and if I barely even know you beyond a friend or an acquaintance that knows you.

I am going to write you off as "untrustworthy" for it. Because here you are, a stranger someone I don't know talking to me about very big and personal things related to me. That no one in their right mind will come up and start talking about unless I am comfortable talking about it, or I bring it up.

I have to be the one that approaches that subject. Not ever you, especially if you are not even known to me. I get so confused to "who the hell are you." That I don't even bother.

And I never do. To me anyone who can talk that way has learned it from someone else, who confided in them in secrecy and is out there telling these secrets to just anyone who asks.

I don't trust those people. Not with the inner working of my very soul, and not something as sensitive as my relationship of 7 years. Or my childhood.

Both are off limits to approach and talk about as if it is shoot the breeze chatter. These are traumatic events in my life. And it takes a great deal to open up about them. There are things not even my family knows. I keep things that way. I like things that way.

The less about me the better. I want the focus to be about the art or writing I produce. Not "me." I want people to focus on the personality I portray as my namesake "Invidia" more than trying to find out "me." If I want people to know the person behind the name, I'll approach them. But beyond that point. I rather people not pry into my life.

That is just the way I want to be. It's easy to gain my trust, but it is also easy to make me distrust you too. 

Don't give me reasons to distrust. And leave my past alone. If I want to be open about it. I'll be open about it. If not, then I'm not.

Thank you.
It's a long process to get through traumas and events. Hiccups and downward spirals along the way that can make and break you.
Figured I should update once in a while seeing as the last thing I made was angry.

Mentally, I'm getting better with coping from events. There are still some flares that will happen. This isn't something that magically can just go away like my childhood tragedies.  

For more in depth story to my leaving my ex. He did some things that I shouldn't have tolerated in the first place. and it reached a boiling point to where he disgusted me with one act he did. Sadly he won't be prosecuted for what he did. But I got more than enough with the restraining order against him. At least a good year to organize myself and ensure I can't be harassed like when I left him.

In all of my relationships that have ended I have never looked back when I was sure. There is never a boomerang with me where I'll go back and repeat the cycles. I just won't do that. 

It honestly pains me to write about what happened, but I know better than to bottle it up. That is more destructive. In short I was abused. There isn't denying that it wasn't. It was. 

I had to be vague in who I spoke to when he was around because you don't let your abuser know you plan on leaving them. There was an opportunity to leave that presented itself back in February and I took it. We were clashing on whether or not "I" would be moving with him to live with the other woman he picked up. This was that opportunity. My roommates here kept me from going with him and helped support my decision to leave.

I really wish I had left sooner than that. Years ago. Before certain people got themselves mixed up with him. I still regret three people getting themselves hurt by him. He was a despicable human being... I had hated him for a long time... before alot of friends met him. 

That saying "you could just leave" always comes up. Yeah, you can just leave. I probably would have been better off. and had kept custody of my child better. 

But can't change the past. I lost alot, but also gained alot in myself.

I should reach out better to friends, but I have always handled my inner demons alone. Even when I don't have to be. In the end they're still something I have to come to terms with.

With that said, there were some downright bad down days where due to some carelessness you all would have lost me without me even letting anyone know. There were a few people who kept me from making mistakes. One of my roommates caught onto my demeanor and didn't leave me to be alone for too long. and checks up on me daily since she knows I've been unstable.

I still lack the ability to show my feelings outward.. even when I'm content. 

I am getting better. It's still going to be a long healing process to cope with these events. Even mental health doctors would be saying the steps I am doing are what I should be doing. Getting involved in hobbies, or making myself busy with things to where I don't think about it.

I'll always live with this. Even before I met my ex, I had this destructive ability inside. Just events make it worse.

I'll spare people from the graphics of what went on. I'm sure anyone reading this can draw from it what happened.

Never be with people who are sociopaths. Or don't take the word no well.

Getting better is hard. But I have to pull myself together. I'm the only one who can. 

I do miss the closeness of my friends though. 
It'd be alot better if I can delete dumb comments.


Invidia1988's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I'm a writer and occasionally I attempt to art stuff or color. I do alot with writing or photography than I do actually drawing.

I have original stories and the occasional fanfiction of a series. Currently writing in the Kamigami no Asobi fandom and my own original stuff.

I do not give permission easy to people for my written works or characters used. So unless I'm free-writing something you'll have to catch me on those moments.

Anything concerning my original story, my original characters, or drabbles be it short or a few chapters is completely off limits. I'll give permission when I grant it to select people. But do not continually ask me if you can use my characters, story, or things I come up with without first consulting me. I'm strict with my rules there and bug me enough times I will ban.

In other words. No permission granted. Steal you regret it.

I need points x.x anyone generous enough to donate?…

Current Residence: Hell
Favourite genre of music: a little bit of everything.
Favourite photographer: Hochie
Favourite style of art: Traditional and digital. I like high quality art. And the best I've seen are on here.
Operating System: windows 7
MP3 player of choice: Spotify
Shell of choice: none
Wallpaper of choice: Hades
Skin of choice: Green or Jade Green vibrant greens or blues.
Favourite cartoon character: Mostly villains, Ulquiorra Cifer, Envy, Ganondorf, Link, Hades (Kamiaso)
Personal Quote: Kiya's Quote: "We all will die someday, just some will die sooner than others. There is no changing that fate, for if we try to change it then we're fools who can't accept the laws of being alive. Even the undead. Even moreso... me."

ulqui icons~

Click Me!

Click Me!

Stamp - Paint Tool Sai User by firstfear Stamp - Mouse User by firstfear


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Bluesoul1 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Been a While... Happy Birthday!!
Invidia1988 Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks. indeed it has been.
plinkochip Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017
Hi Kiya, how can me and kitters talk to you?
Invidia1988 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
currently right now it is either through discord, skype, tumblr, and here. I'll give out a link here in the next few days to my discord chat.
Myria-Art Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2017   Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch :)
Invidia1988 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
LuckyKoneko Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
happy birbsday to the inkfish!
Invidia1988 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you
LuckyKoneko Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
English1991 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
thanks for faving the WIP of my scythe caster!! sorry this is a little late</3
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