Invidia1988

It's December, so about that time to update those still following or curious to know what is going on in the world of Invi. 

I almost had the chance to move, but was declined in it, the apartment wasn't that great after all and I had second thoughts. Blessing in disguise.

I have changed professions and have gotten into a really good asphalting company as a flagger. I have a good station and supervisor. I make more than I ever did as a stagehand in the 4 digits now instead of 3. 

In other words to my friends. I am doing really well, I'm dead tired most of the time but I am doing really good.

I still struggle with the edges of my depression and anxiety. Still good days and bad days. 

Little each day. I'm living instead of struggling.

I have redone some old stuff, just haven't posted it yet. I really enjoy being able to touch Bleach again on better terms. I did something for myself because I have improved so much over the years.

In other things, I am taking classes to improve myself a bit more in career choices in being a flagger... It's a start, I'll always be thankful to my work as a stagehand for giving me something to look forward to each time. It's been a hard two years mentally. Been through alot that would have driven anyone to insanity or the grave.

I've given up trying to be a parent. He's better off with what he has now than my ever trying to take him back into my life again. It still hurts a bit when your ex basically rules over it, but if there is ever the day where he asks me why. I won't lie about what really happened.

I've gotten better in not having nightmares or having ptsd episodes as bad. I still can't deal with anything personal or sexual from what I went through. I probably won't be able to look at people in that light ever.

Each day is different, but I'm able to move forward.

All I can do.

Moving again. This time moving up and into my own place soon. Just got to find a decent affordable place. 

I get to go back to normal work this Saturday, and got thrown a random in the form of Jury Duty. So those are fun...

Living and getting by that's about it.

Since I am not online like I want to be all the time.

It's been a few months and still going alot stronger than what I use to be, I recently had the greatest two artists I have worked for this year. I got to work for Evanescence and Lindsey Stirling and it being my first show call. That was a night I will never forget even with how insanely tired I was working. My job is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was crying here and there working for one of the most influential bands of my life. Evanescence was one of those big bands in my youth that changed me. Being able to give back to the very artist in making her show run smooth was probably one of the biggest ways I could ever give back to her for what her music means to me. I met her son and he is adorable. Everyone talks about how meeting artists is a bucketlist or goals. I think working for them is a greater honor. Ever since I started with this company I have changed for better of my life itself. I have a better drive and goals. This up and coming week I am going to be working with some legendary names, one I already worked for. 

I am alot better mentally because of my work. It's what I have while my son is moved across to Iowa. I wish things were better in that department and I wasn't struggling with this. But I've found my career and I am chasing it hard. I work ten times harder on these events, I'm keeping my morals strong while I do so. I have returned to my stronger ones in not drinking or getting involved with meaningless dramas or bs. I keep my political sides to myself, what I fight for is on my personal level and no one needs to know my voting or stance on things. I do fight for what is right though.

I am letting go the other staging company I am with though, they treated me like garbage last week to where I almost walked off, I rarely even contemplate that. It made me love my main work all the more. 

Art and writing is stalled until I can find a program that works with chromebook for art, writing... I haven't had any inspiration lately.

Anyway going to be busy over this next month.